Morning Session 002

My room is messy when I woke up. Well, it’s a sign that I don’t get laid lately. Is it good? I dunno. This morning is gloomy. The sun is nowhere to be found – it is hiding, or maybe it is hidden beneath the clouds that is about to break loose of the rain. Like my mood this morning, it is gloomy. The blissful me have been covered with my problems in Mathematics. I have this feeling that I’m not going to finish college because of that subject. It’s just that I can’t get it on my head like any other subjects that I have.

But then, there are other students in my batch who also can’t pass mathematics. In fact, it’s already their 3^rd take and still they find it difficult. And they are okay with it. So why should I not be okay? There’s no enough reason for this mood swing, right?

Also, I felt betrayed by a friend. Not a big deal but the fact that she was able to spill my secrets somehow ruined my trust for her. And yes, it hurts because I trusted her.

Another thing that I think I should write about is this girl that I love for almost 2 years now. Will we ever be? I guess no. Maybe it is best if I leave everything to time; not expect something from it, and in fact not even think about it.

Morning Session 001

The sunlight passing through my windows which extends to my bed woke me up like the usual morning I had since we transferred here in Bugo, Cagayan de Oro City. My room is a dead witness on how emotionally volatile I was the past mornings, and it has become my static consoler – the paintings, although they’re not really paintings, reminds me of how sunny I used to be. What I actually mean is that from socially “outrageous”, I have become to a great extent socially withdrawn. The shift actually is nothing that I can call easy, it comes from experience, in which, as far as I know, far beyond my control.

I am not saying that something negative happened. Being socially withdrawn is not negative. In fact, my greatest realizations came about during solitude – the times when there’s nothing else to think of but myself, how I am feeling, and how to deal with my emotions. In other words it brought me to know deeply who I am.

I think that would be all this morning. And BTW this is part of my writing training. And yes, I am taking my friends advice to pursue learning German language. Adios!